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Август 1997 года. Кэролин с ужасом следит за новостями о трагической гибели принцессы Дианы в Париже. Понимая, что Диану уничтожила та же беспощадная машина прессы, с которой она сама сталкивается каждый день, Кэролин говорит: «Она мертва. Они убили её». Джон пытается её успокоить, но она признаётся, что постоянно ждёт «ужасных вещей». Джон обвиняет её в том, что она «выбирает тьму». Разговор перерастает в ссору. Кэролин упрекает мужа в том, что её жизнь изменилась полностью, тогда как его осталась прежней. Джон, напуганный тем, что она отдаляется, напоминает о том, как она когда-то «входила в комнату и покоряла её», а теперь не покидает квартиру. Кэролин отвечает, что чувствует себя «живым табелем успеваемости» для семьи Кеннеди, где каждое её действие оценивается. Год спустя. Джон на костылях после несчастного случая во время полёта на параплане, но настаивает на получении квалификации пилота по приборам для полётов в условиях плохой видимости — мрачное предзнаменование. Напряжение между супругами не спадает. Кэролин обвиняет Джона в том, что он не понимает её профессиональных амбиций, сводя всё к тому, что ей нужно просто найти «какое-то дело». В ответ Джон упрекает её в том, что у неё «нет личности вне её жертвенности». Ссора достигает кульминации. Кэролин кричит, что стала «ещё одной трагедией» в его жизни. Джон собирает сумку и уходит в отель, несмотря на её мольбы остаться. Он обещает вернуться и говорит, что любит её, но когда дверь за ним закрывается, между ними происходит нечто непоправимое. Кэролин остаётся одна, рыдая в пустой квартире.
- 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:29,571 <i>♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪</i>
- 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:35,369 <i>♪ Puff your cares away ♪</i>
- 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:43,126 <i>♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪</i>
- 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:49,049 <i>♪ Night and day ♪</i>
- 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:57,390 <i>♪ Blow, blow them through the air ♪</i>
- 00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:03,313 <i>♪ Silky little rings ♪</i>
- 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:07,441 <i>♪ Those little smoke rings I love ♪</i>
- 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,739 Hi.
- 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:14,992 Hey.
- 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,411 How was… How was the thing?
- 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,082 Well, you know.
- 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:27,337 It was a journalist's book party in Midtown.
- 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,548 How do you think it was?
- 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:34,011 - Utterly fine? - Violently fine.
- 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,430 Anthony dropped by for a bit.
- 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,806 Yeah? How'd he look?
- 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,434 Frail.
- 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,227 Wonder why he bothered showing up.
- 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,478 Life is for the living.
- 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,397 Does that constitute living?
- 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,274 A journalist book party in Midtown?
- 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,483 I had fun.
- 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,531 - Did you? - Yeah.
- 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,616 Although I did get trapped for about 20 minutes
- 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,535 by that artist lady who wears those hats.
- 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,203 Lizzie is a publicist.
- 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,207 The reason you think she's an artist is because she's a good publicist.
- 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,084 Um.
- 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,591 Wha-What are you doing?
- 00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:15,217 What does it look like I'm doing?
- 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,139 I love this song.
- 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:26,896 <i>♪ This is no ordinary love ♪</i>
- 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,522 You know what else I love?
- 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,566 Mmm?
- 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,110 I love you.
- 00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,408 I love you too.
- 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:46,415 Tonight would have been so much more fun if you were there.
- 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,669 Everything's more fun when I'm there.
- 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:54,049 That's usually true.
- 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,678 You know, I think this is the first song we ever danced to.
- 00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,681 God, we barely knew each other then.
- 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,516 - I knew you. I knew who you were. - Mmm?
- 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,017 - Yeah? - You were fearless.
- 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,353 No, I was terrified.
- 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,314 <i>♪ A love like that won't last? ♪</i>
- 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,151 The way you used to walk into a room and just own it.
- 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,447 Used to?
- 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,409 No, you-you know what I mean.
- 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,371 Baby, I missed you tonight.
- 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,708 Everyone was asking where you were.
- 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,003 It's hard to keep track of all the excuses at this point.
- 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:37,425 <i>♪ This is no ordinary love ♪</i>
- 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:40,804 <i>♪ No ordinary love ♪</i>
- 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,268 You're hungry. I don't want the food to get cold.
- 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,328 I'm sorry.
- 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,331 I wasn't trying to guilt-trip you.
- 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,460 Just missed you.
- 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:15,422 I mean it was a completely mediocre book party in Midtown. I…
- 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,466 Really doesn't sound like I missed much, right?
- 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,557 If you were so desperate to see me, you would have just skipped it to see me.
- 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,351 And the fact that it didn't even occur to you as an option makes me feel like
- 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,730 this isn't just about us spending time together, but about…
- 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,859 people seeing us spend time together.
- 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,818 Just…
- 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,821 I hate showing up to these things alone.
- 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,573 Because of what people will say?
- 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,450 No. No.
- 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,659 Mmm.
- 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,912 - Well, obviously that's part of it. - Mm-hmm.
- 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,414 You know what happens anytime I show up to these things alone.
- 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,168 There's another headline stating that we're headed for divorce.
- 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:57,505 Uh, well, I mean, at this point, they're gonna write a story no matter what.
- 00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,507 - So… - Exactly.
- 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,259 Damned if we do, damned if we don't.
- 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,720 Right, I just… I feel like we're saying the same thing here.
- 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:08,391 All I'm saying is I'd like to spend time with you outside of this loft.
- 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,482 I have a crazy idea.
- 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,360 - A plate? - Um, let's go on a trip.
- 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,904 - What kind of a trip? - Any kind of trip you want.
- 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:25,574 Mmm. Paris, Belize, Tahiti.
- 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,992 - Tahiti? - Yeah, Tahiti.
- 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,994 Just you and me at the beach.
- 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,331 No parties, no obligation, no press.
- 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:33,749 No clothes.
- 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,293 - Carolyn. - I'm serious.
- 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,673 Maybe after the holidays.
- 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,466 After the holidays? John, it's-it's August.
- 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,679 It's August 30th. That's essentially September.
- 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,514 We have the Delancey Street Foundation dinner
- 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,015 - in San Francisco. - Mm-hmm.
- 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,851 Back to New York for Fashion Week.
- 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,519 Then I have the Cuba trip.
- 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,647 After that, we're in the Vineyard, straight to Red Gate.
- 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,775 Then we're back in the city for Terry and Valerie's Halloween party.
- 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,152 November is the <i>George</i> anniversary dinner.
- 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,737 - Mm-hmm. - Thanksgiving at Hyannis.
- 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,239 Christmas with the cousins.
- 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,740 Your birthday in January.
- 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,952 Figured you'd wanna be with friends, but, yeah, a trip sounds nice.
- 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:17,042 Okay, so what you're saying is we can't go on vacation until 1998?
- 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,044 Of course not.
- 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,672 We have Hyannis next weekend, remember?
- 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,176 Fuck me, I forgot.
- 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,723 You know, a lot of people consider the Cape to be
- 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,726 one of the most beautiful areas of the country.
- 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,643 Yeah, I'm aware of that.
- 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,062 I don't have a problem with the Cape. It's the compound.
- 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,064 What about it?
- 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,774 Come on.
- 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,027 No, let's hear it.
- 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,820 Out with it.
- 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:48,949 Um. It's not relaxing. Every minute of the day is accounted for.
- 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,454 We can't sleep in, we can't sit on the beach, we can't go for a walk.
- 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,332 - There's no privacy, so we never have sex. - Hmm.
- 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:59,918 Oh. There's never enough hot water, which is frankly mind-boggling,
- 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,004 given the marvel that is modern plumbing.
- 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:05,508 And even in the height of summer, it's always cold, like w-how?
- 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,178 And there are all these insane, unwritten rules.
- 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:13,183 Like, uh, board games are verboten, but playing cards encouraged.
- 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,809 What's the difference?
- 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:19,438 Oh. And yogurt at breakfast is sensible, but yogurt at lunch is,
- 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,981 and I'm quoting your cousin here,
- 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:24,109 - "Some Weight Watchers shit." - "Some Weight Watchers shit."
- 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,738 Oh. And that, um, that rule about no TV during the day.
- 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,281 Well, that's not a rule.
- 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,993 It's just… Do you wanna watch TV during the day?
- 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,953 I want the option.
- 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:39,541 Spending your day in front of the TV on a beautiful summer's day is just wasteful.
- 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,126 So it is a rule?
- 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,211 It's a norm.
- 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,714 Oh, there's nothing norm about it, trust me.
- 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,634 Everyone shoots me these judgmental looks whenever I read magazines.
- 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:52,680 And-And before you say that Caroline reads magazines all the time too,
- 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:56,100 let me interrupt your interruption and say that Caroline reads <i>The New Republic,</i>
- 00:07:56,101 --> 00:08:00,355 and while, technically, yes, that's a magazine, spiritually, it's a book.
- 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,732 <i>Vogue</i>, that's a magazine.
- 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,859 And don't think I haven't noticed the expectant looks
- 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,820 on everyone's faces when I abstain from a cocktail.
- 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,614 I am basically guzzling Dark 'n' Stormys prophylactically
- 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,865 at this point.
- 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:14,743 Yeah, I-I have to drink or else people will think I'm pregnant.
- 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,495 You think I'm joking, but I'm serious.
- 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:20,374 I-I just feel like I'm on display, like… like there's this sense of visibility.
- 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,961 Like-like my body is this living, breathing report card
- 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,256 broadcasting the state of our relationship.
- 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,175 You could always drink a Sea Breeze.
- 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,010 - And the clams. - The clams?
- 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,178 Over Fourth of July weekend,
- 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,431 your family had five clambakes over three days.
- 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,433 Six actually.
- 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,227 We had a midnight clambake, but I let you sleep through that one.
- 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,187 Who wants clams at midnight?
- 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,857 That-That's diabolical. That's sadistic.
- 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,609 Okay, okay, I hear you.
- 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,530 - Hyannis can be specific. - No, I believe I said, "Sadistic."
- 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,158 I like spending time with our family. I'm sorry.
- 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,367 John, they're your family.
- 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,618 They're your family too.
- 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,954 - Family is important. - Yeah, you and me, we're a family.
- 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,215 Hello.
- 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,093 What?
- 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,054 What happened?
- 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,975 Laur-Lauren, slow down, you're scaring me.
- 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,436 What's going on?
- 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,355 Mm-hmm.
- 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,900 Okay, what channel?
- 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,693 Will you?
- 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,738 Yeah, okay, let me call you back, all right?
- 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:33,947 Love you. Bye.
- 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,577 <i>An update now on the condition of Princess Diana,</i>
- 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,663 <i>who was involved in a traffic accident in Paris this evening.</i>
- 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,457 <i>She is in a serious condition.</i>
- 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,709 <i>She was driving with her companion, Dodi Al-Fayed.</i>
- 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,545 <i>He, according to police officials, died in the accident…</i>
- 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,589 - Oh, my God! - <i>…along with a chauffeur.</i>
- 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:54,676 <i>The princess's bodyguard was also injured. We don't know his condition at this hour.</i>
- 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,512 - <i>The accident happened</i>… - Oh, my God.
- 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,347 …<i>as Diana's car was being pursued</i>
- 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,225 <i>by a group of paparazzis on motorcycles as they entered a tunnel</i>
- 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,102 <i>- along the River Seine.</i> - I just saw her.
- 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,645 - What? - At Gianni's funeral.
- 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,438 I-I sat right behind her.
- 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,566 <i>She has been monitoring Paris for any new information.</i>
- 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,069 - <i>Nina, can you hear me?</i> - <i>Yes, I can.</i>
- 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,489 <i>Dodi Al-Fayed, obviously, a very famous man, a millionaire as well.</i>
- 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,865 <i>Do you have any news on his condition?</i>
- 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,869 <i>We have police reports and others saying that he is in fact…</i>
- 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:24,248 <i>All we know at the moment is that he has in fact…</i>
- 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,041 <i>…as well as the driver.</i>
- 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,585 <i>Princess Diana apparently has been severely injured</i>
- 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,212 <i>as well as a bodyguard.</i>
- 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,839 <i>Do we know the nature of her injury?</i>
- 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,632 - Carolyn. - <i>Not at this moment.</i>
- 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,634 <i>- We know that she has been taken…</i> - Carolyn.
- 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,718 Yeah?
- 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,013 The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean?
- 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:41,850 What?
- 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,810 The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean?
- 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:45,894 I-I don't know.
- 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,272 <i>There has been no comment from Buckingham Palace…</i>
- 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,399 You don't know if you ran the dishwasher or not?
- 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,484 - What? - I don't get how you don't know.
- 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,778 - You either ran it or you didn't. - Why are you asking me?
- 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:55,946 You've been home all day.
- 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,823 Do you remember hearing the dishwasher run?
- 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,449 Yes, I did a dish wash.
- 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,620 <i>The paparazzi, of course, have been trying to photograph</i>
- 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:07,791 <i>Princess Diana with Dodi Al-Fayed, a famous millionaire with whom</i>
- 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,961 <i>she has been in a romantic relationship for the last couple of weeks.</i>
- 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:13,547 <i>Have they been engendering a fair bit of publicity</i>
- 00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:16,091 <i>while they were in Paris? 'Cause most people knew they were there.</i>
- 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:20,847 <i>Oh, yes. There has been an extraordinary amount of tabloid and media…</i>
- 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,140 <i>What can you tell us</i>
- 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,058 <i>about the area of Paris where the accident occurred?</i>
- 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,019 <i>I guess it was the entrance ramp of the tunnel.</i>
- 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,771 <i>It was an entrance route to the underground tunnel</i>
- 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,690 <i>that goes under the Seine River.</i>
- 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:36,612 <i>This area is well-known by tourists. So it's a very well-populated area.</i>
- 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,238 <i>Let's go back</i>
- 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,615 <i>to the scene of the wreckage.</i>
- 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,702 <i>There's the recognizable back end of the Mercedes sedan,</i>
- 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,496 <i>and there is the unrecognizable front end</i>
- 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,666 <i>of what must have been a high-speed collision.</i>
- 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,377 <i>In the front part of the car, the two flashes of white there</i>
- 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:55,964 <i>are the deployed airbags, the remnants of the airbags.</i>
- 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,426 <i>Princess Diana is unmatched when it comes to generating interest</i>
- 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,553 <i>and, indeed, cash for deserving projects…</i>
- 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,555 - I'm going for a run. - <i>…taken an interest.</i>
- 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,390 <i>- Her most high-profile involvement…</i> - What?
- 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,559 <i>…has been to draw the world's attention</i>
- 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,479 <i>- to the horrors facing civilians…</i> - John.
- 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,314 I'll be back in a bit.
- 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,029 <i>Diana was also recently…</i>
- 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,157 <i>…mostly dominating headlines in the newspaper,</i>
- 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:26,286 <i>especially in Britain, concerning her relationship with Dodi Al-Fayed,</i>
- 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:29,164 <i>which reported that she joined her 40-year-old millionaire companion</i>
- 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,376 <i>and a group of friends for a Mediterranean cruise,</i>
- 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,671 <i>once again, putting her personal life under scrutiny.</i>
- 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,632 <i>Her private holiday was filmed by the Italian paparazzi,</i>
- 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,969 <i>who are now auctioning the photographs to the highest bidder.</i>
- 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,679 <i>We will continue to cover…</i>
- 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,683 <i>♪ We escape ♪</i>
- 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:56,484 <i>♪ Breathe ♪</i>
- 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,779 <i>♪ Keep breathing ♪</i>
- 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:04,575 <i>♪ I can't do this ♪</i>
- 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,330 <i>♪ Alone ♪</i>
- 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:24,887 <i>♪ You can laugh ♪</i>
- 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:32,937 <i>♪ A spineless laugh ♪</i>
- 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,606 <i>♪ We hope your rules ♪</i>
- 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,609 <i>…it said, and I quote,</i>
- 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,194 <i>"Princess Diana has died."</i>
- 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:48,161 <i>♪ And wisdom choke you ♪</i>
- 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:57,086 <i>♪ Now we are one ♪</i>
- 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:05,344 <i>♪ In everlasting peace ♪</i>
- 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:11,893 <i>♪ We hope that you choke ♪</i>
- 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:18,066 <i>♪ That you choke ♪</i>
- 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,833 <i>…very tragic turn, with confirmation</i>
- 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,335 <i>from Buckingham Palace tonight</i>
- 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:42,464 <i>that the world has lost Princess Diana at age 36.</i>
- 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,759 <i>The official cause of death was listed as cardiac arrest</i>
- 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,803 <i>following massive trauma and head injuries.</i>
- 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,054 She's dead.
- 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,640 <i>Doctors noted that these injuries were consistent</i>
- 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,559 <i>with a high-speed collision.</i>
- 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,561 <i>If you are now tuning in, we have been covering…</i>
- 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,731 - They killed her. - <i>…accident of Princess…</i>
- 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,983 She did everything right, posed for every photo,
- 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,069 gave them everything they wanted, and they just…
- 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,822 <i>Her companion, Dodi Al-Fayed, was killed outright…</i>
- 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,533 - …they still killed her. - <i>…the Mercedes car.</i>
- 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,160 <i>- Surgeons at a nearby hospital…</i> - It's very sad.
- 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:15,539 - It's monstrous. - <i>…a battle they lost.</i>
- 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,623 <i>The British ambassador…</i>
- 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,292 She was their princess, and they treated her like prey.
- 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,170 <i>…which we now know got rather frantic</i>
- 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,339 <i>as they started to lose her pulse.</i>
- 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,633 - <i>At the scene, police… -</i> I gotta clean my face off.
- 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:30,595 <i>…paparazzi photographers allegedly pursuing the princess's car</i>
- 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,264 <i>in a high-speed chase.</i>
- 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,807 <i>Seven men were arrested.</i>
- 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,852 <i>And the film rolls have all been confiscated.</i>
- 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,354 <i>And the world is slowly learning of this news…</i>
- 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:43,608 You know, I think there's something really macabre about watching this shit
- 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,695 when right now, halfway across the world, someone is waking up her kids
- 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:49,072 before they find out their parent is dead on TV.
- 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,324 <i>He and the First Lady have sent</i>
- 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:53,995 <i>their condolences to Buckingham Palace.</i>
- 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:59,417 <i>There are reports that the royal family, uh, they are at Balmoral in Scotland…</i>
- 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,172 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
- 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,314 Those poor boys.
- 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,567 At least they have each other.
- 00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,695 Like you and Caroline.
- 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,781 - Like me and Caroline? - Yeah.
- 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:34,452 This is nothing like what me and Caroline went through.
- 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:38,455 They're princes. They're members of a monarchy.
- 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:41,541 I was three when my dad died. I grew up 60 blocks from here.
- 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,420 I rode my bike to school. It's night and day.
- 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,632 Okay.
- 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,597 You're telling me it wasn't like that.
- 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:57,934 What was it like?
- 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,188 - I don't wanna talk about it. - John.
- 00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,732 You're making assumptions and trying to tell me
- 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,108 what my own childhood was like,
- 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,194 and I have everyone else in the world to do that for me
- 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,364 without having to hear it from my own wife.
- 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,084 John.
- 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,505 I'm just trying to understand.
- 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,968 Does it not scare you?
- 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,353 John.
- 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,898 Fine.
- 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,902 You wanna know what I'm so scared of? What's going through my head?
- 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,698 What I was thinking about the entire time during my jog?
- 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,909 That you are never gonna leave the house again.
- 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,161 Do I see the parallels between what we deal with
- 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,621 and what happened to her?
- 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,040 Of course I do. But can I say that?
- 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,420 No, it'll just be one more thing that's gonna stop you from living your life.
- 00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,801 You wanna know why I can't watch this?
- 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:19,390 Because if I do, I'll never fucking stop, okay?
- 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,782 Do you wanna hear about my childhood?
- 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,786 I don't remember my dad dying, at all.
- 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:46,374 But what I remember vividly is my mom being basically in a trance.
- 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:49,210 And the hours that Caroline and the nanny and I spent
- 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,548 while my mom was locked away in a dark room, crying alone.
- 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:04,143 And why… Couldn't she just play with me?
- 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:14,028 It was my mother I watched die, not my dad.
- 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,739 I watched her die twice.
- 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,374 And now it feels like I'm watching you slip away.
- 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,585 You're choosing the darkness.
- 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:35,007 I'm watching it happen. I feel like I'm being abandoned again.
- 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:39,219 I can't lose you. You're the one person I can't lose.
- 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,303 Do you understand that?
- 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:44,140 I've lost so many people in my life, and I can't lose you.
- 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,643 I can't. I can't lose you.
- 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:51,690 - John. - I can't, I can't. I can't.
- 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,280 I can't lose you, Carolyn.
- 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,992 Breathe.
- 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,162 I'm not going anywhere.
- 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,210 Just breathe.
- 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:39,280 <i>♪ Now you should smile ♪</i>
- 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:45,536 <i>♪ Though your heart is aching ♪</i>
- 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:52,793 <i>♪ Smile even though it's breaking ♪</i>
- 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:59,175 <i>♪ When there are clouds ♪</i>
- 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:03,053 <i>♪ Way up in the sky ♪</i>
- 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,224 <i>♪ You're gonna get by ♪</i>
- 00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:11,687 <i>♪ That's the time ♪</i>
- 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:17,067 <i>♪ You must keep on trying ♪</i>
- 00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:19,820 <i>♪ Oh, you gotta smile ♪</i>
- 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,993 <i>♪ What's the use of crying ♪</i>
- 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:31,624 <i>♪ You'll find that life is still ♪</i>
- 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:38,964 <i>♪ Worthwhile ♪</i>
- 00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:42,092 <i>♪ If you'd just ♪</i>
- 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:47,473 <i>♪ Smile ♪</i>
- 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,350 <i>♪ Come on ♪</i>
- 00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:56,357 <i>♪ Now show me a little smile ♪</i>
- 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,821 You're gonna hurt yourself.
- 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,992 - You sure you don't want a hand? - No, I'm good.
- 00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:13,164 God, we went through so much wine.
- 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,166 Uh-huh.
- 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:33,769 Hey, Jason. It's John.
- 00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:37,273 My dinner is done. I'm just at home.
- 00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:39,233 Give me a call whenever.
- 00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,903 Why are you calling your flight instructor?
- 00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:46,031 What are you talking about? I talk to him all the time.
- 00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:51,119 I have to log 40 more hours before I'm instrument-rated.
- 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:54,497 You just crashed flying that ridiculous lawn mower contraption.
- 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:56,583 I think it's obvious you need a bit more time than that.
- 00:22:56,584 --> 00:23:00,086 It's called a Buckeye, and it's an entirely different machine.
- 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,381 Buckeyes have nothing to do with airplanes.
- 00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:06,843 Didn't you promise Caroline you were done with flying?
- 00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:09,555 Since when are you so concerned with what Caroline wants?
- 00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:15,811 What are you doing?
- 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,522 - I want my cigarettes. - No, just sit. Sit. I'll get them for you.
- 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:22,025 I don't want you hobbling up the stairs.
- 00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:24,445 They're not up the stairs. They're in my room.
- 00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:43,087 You know, if we left now, we could probably catch the tail end
- 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,007 of that <i>Vanity Fair</i> party at Pravda.
- 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:50,053 John, you're not supposed to be putting any pressure on that ankle.
- 00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:52,348 No parties, no stairs, no flying lessons.
- 00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:55,892 Well, we'll take a cab. I can sit when I get there.
- 00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:01,022 - Ugh. Fuck. - I'm wiped.
- 00:24:01,023 --> 00:24:04,317 But if you wanna go, you should go.
- 00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:05,986 Wiped? It's not even 11:00.
- 00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,743 Can you please stop with the candle?
- 00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:15,371 Wait, is this a fight right now?
- 00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:19,248 No, I'm fine.
- 00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:21,210 What? What now?
- 00:24:25,255 --> 00:24:28,216 Fine, if you want me to sit here and beg you for it, I will.
- 00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:30,093 Or we can just fast-forward to the part
- 00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:32,304 where you tell me exactly how it is I fucked up.
- 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:37,851 You told me to go work for Petra.
- 00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:41,813 - When? - Uh, thirty minutes ago,
- 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,440 at this dinner party you insisted on hosting.
- 00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:47,819 Petra was complaining about how difficult it is to find
- 00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:50,780 anyone with work experience willing to build something from the ground up
- 00:24:50,781 --> 00:24:52,991 and accept a pay cut, and you started yelling at me for--
- 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,410 - I did not yell. - Yeah, John, you were literally yelling.
- 00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:58,162 And I know that because you were seated at the other end of the table.
- 00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,373 All I said was that you had fashion experience
- 00:25:00,374 --> 00:25:02,251 - and you didn't need money. - PR.
- 00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:08,631 - I have PR experience. - At Calvin Klein.
- 00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:10,216 Isn't that fashion? That's fashion.
- 00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:13,469 Petra has a jewelry line, John. I'm not a jewelry designer.
- 00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:15,972 Well, I'm sorry for insinuating that you have great taste.
- 00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:18,058 Yeah, that qualifies me to buy jewelry.
- 00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,352 Not make it.
- 00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:29,527 It's humiliating getting pitched for job after job
- 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,237 regardless of my interests or qualifications.
- 00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:33,156 - When have I ever-- - You do it all the time.
- 00:25:33,157 --> 00:25:34,449 I mean, you practically shoved me
- 00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:36,743 into André Leon Talley's lap at that fundraiser.
- 00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:38,745 - No, I did not. - John, yes, you did.
- 00:25:38,746 --> 00:25:41,039 You know, it makes me feel like I am this dead weight
- 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,042 that you are desperate to shed. You're just… You're…
- 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,503 You're getting wax all over the table.
- 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:49,506 I thought you hated this table.
- 00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:01,601 What did you mean I insisted on hosting this dinner party?
- 00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:03,144 It was your idea, wasn't it?
- 00:26:03,145 --> 00:26:05,938 Well, I knew better than to suggest we go to a restaurant,
- 00:26:05,939 --> 00:26:07,857 or anywhere else other than this apartment.
- 00:26:07,858 --> 00:26:09,233 Are you seriously that upset
- 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:11,320 that I organized a dinner party for your friends?
- 00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:14,490 It really bothers me when you do that.
- 00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:16,741 Do what?
- 00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:19,035 Delineate between my friends and your friends.
- 00:26:19,036 --> 00:26:21,955 We're a unit, John. They're our friends.
- 00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:26,710 Okay, Carolyn.
- 00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:31,130 - Pronoun rescinded. - What are you doing?
- 00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:33,050 Sorry if my grammar offended you.
- 00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:46,813 Y-You seemed perfectly happy holding court with my friends.
- 00:26:46,814 --> 00:26:49,817 Yeah, well, they were bombarding me with questions.
- 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,529 Yes.
- 00:26:56,156 --> 00:27:00,827 And to be honest, I think people are uncomfortable asking you
- 00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:02,286 about what's going on in your life
- 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,705 'cause they're not sure if you want to talk about it.
- 00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:07,166 What do you mean what's going on in my life?
- 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:10,921 You know, that you're still trying to figure out your thing.
- 00:27:11,547 --> 00:27:13,048 My thing.
- 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:18,678 You know, enough with this relentless pressure to have a thing.
- 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,013 Why do I have to have a thing?
- 00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:23,641 It's all I hear about from your family and your friends
- 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,685 and-and the press, and especially you.
- 00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:27,728 Because it's not enough to just be a Kennedy, no.
- 00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:29,856 No, you have to work at the NRDC or make a documentary
- 00:27:29,857 --> 00:27:31,984 or write a book about constitutional law.
- 00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:36,237 I am 33 years old. I've been working since I'm 15.
- 00:27:36,238 --> 00:27:38,656 Can't my thing just be taking a beat
- 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,741 to settle into my marriage and enjoy my life?
- 00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:44,162 Is that what you're doing all day alone in the apartment, enjoying your life?
- 00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:48,584 I'm figuring it out.
- 00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:51,794 And in the meantime, I don't wanna just join some board
- 00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:55,172 because it would make you feel better when people ask me what I do at dinner parties.
- 00:27:55,173 --> 00:27:57,216 I would think you, of all people, should be able to understand that.
- 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:58,676 - Me, of all people? - Yes, John.
- 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:01,138 You, of all people, should know what this is like.
- 00:28:01,763 --> 00:28:04,473 Instead, you just come at me with all this unhelpful help,
- 00:28:04,474 --> 00:28:06,517 like it's become a full-time job just…
- 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:10,521 just batting away this constant barrage of indiscriminate suggestions
- 00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:12,691 on how to fill my days, and-and…
- 00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:15,861 and I… I feel guilty.
- 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:20,282 Because I know you think you're trying to be helpful, but it doesn't…
- 00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:23,452 It doesn't feel helpful.
- 00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,246 It feels like you're judging me.
- 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,040 So, what am I supposed to do when you complain
- 00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:31,001 about how unmoored your life feels?
- 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,836 Just sit there and say nothing?
- 00:28:33,837 --> 00:28:35,088 Yes. Yes.
- 00:28:35,881 --> 00:28:37,257 Just say nothing.
- 00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:40,218 Just… Just listen.
- 00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:43,220 That's what I need from you.
- 00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:46,474 I just need you to sit and listen and let me feel lost.
- 00:28:46,475 --> 00:28:50,771 Can I… Like, can I just… f-feel lost?
- 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,899 Can you please allow me the space to do that?
- 00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:56,859 Yes.
- 00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:58,862 - Okay. - Yes, I can do that.
- 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:07,161 You know, look, I get that it's daunting to start over, but just look at my mom.
- 00:29:07,162 --> 00:29:08,705 Oh, my God.
- 00:29:09,247 --> 00:29:12,416 She was a lifelong reader who became a book editor at the age of 46.
- 00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:14,877 Forty-six. Yes, John, I know. I know.
- 00:29:14,878 --> 00:29:16,963 All I'm saying is that she figured it out
- 00:29:16,964 --> 00:29:20,091 despite public scrutiny or the threat of public scrutiny.
- 00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:23,803 John, it is impossible for me to overstate just how aware I am
- 00:29:23,804 --> 00:29:26,055 that your mother was a very impressive woman.
- 00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:27,557 Believe me, okay?
- 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,477 But do you think your mother could have held a nine-to-five job in publishing
- 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,939 when she was married to the most famous man on the planet?
- 00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:37,692 - She did that when she was a widow. - Enough! Enough about my mother.
- 00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:40,778 - What? John, John, you brought her up. - And now I'm saying to drop it.
- 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,655 - You mention my mother enough. - Your mother's still here
- 00:29:42,656 --> 00:29:43,906 - to defend herself. - Mm-hmm.
- 00:29:43,907 --> 00:29:46,742 You don't know how lucky you are that I never introduced you to my mother
- 00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:48,954 because she never would have encouraged this.
- 00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:50,914 Us.
- 00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:00,173 Wow.
- 00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:02,758 I mean, it's not like I would have listened to her.
- 00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:04,177 No, no. Yeah. Sure.
- 00:30:08,724 --> 00:30:10,558 Maybe I should have listened to mine.
- 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:11,726 What?
- 00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:13,979 My mother basically told me I should end this.
- 00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:15,605 When?
- 00:30:17,566 --> 00:30:20,609 - At the wedding. - All right. The speech.
- 00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:22,070 No, no, it was earlier.
- 00:30:25,198 --> 00:30:27,284 - That afternoon. - What are you talking about?
- 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,745 Carolyn.
- 00:30:31,621 --> 00:30:33,915 Carolyn, what are you talking about?
- 00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:37,877 - Carolyn. - My mother came into my room
- 00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:40,922 the day of our rehearsal dinner and warned me not to marry you.
- 00:30:42,382 --> 00:30:45,009 She said that you would never prioritize me,
- 00:30:45,010 --> 00:30:48,429 that you'd always choose your job or your family or yourself,
- 00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:51,141 that you would never make space for me in your life.
- 00:30:53,477 --> 00:30:55,770 And I pushed back on her, I told her she was wrong,
- 00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:59,565 - and now… now I-I don't know that she was. - Carolyn, I do make space for you.
- 00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:02,861 No, John, John, I know you think you do, but you're always out.
- 00:31:04,362 --> 00:31:08,449 You come home at 11:00, at midnight. Last night, you were home at 3:00 a.m.
- 00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:10,367 Yeah, well, we're closing the August issue of <i>George</i>.
- 00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:11,703 You're always… Uh…
- 00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:16,416 You're always closing the magazine.
- 00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:20,419 Or you're out getting drinks to celebrate closing the magazine,
- 00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:23,964 or you're chasing some writer or investor, or you're tearing up the layout,
- 00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:26,467 and if it's not the magazine, it's a Kennedy benefit
- 00:31:26,468 --> 00:31:29,428 or a fundraiser or a Senate run.
- 00:31:29,429 --> 00:31:31,139 So you don't support it.
- 00:31:34,851 --> 00:31:36,645 I support you.
- 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,899 And I'd support it if I really thought it was something you believed in,
- 00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:45,278 but everything for you comes out of this misplaced sense of obligation.
- 00:31:46,196 --> 00:31:48,030 Like your lunch idea.
- 00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:50,032 I specifically set aside two lunches a week,
- 00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:51,826 so that I can spend time with you.
- 00:31:51,827 --> 00:31:54,286 That's not the same as wanting to spend time with me.
- 00:31:54,287 --> 00:31:56,915 - It's literally the same thing. - No, lunch is a checkbox.
- 00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,543 It's something you can tell yourself to absolve yourself of guilt.
- 00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:02,671 - What guilt? - You don't want to be around me.
- 00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,340 You don't want to talk to me.
- 00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:07,883 Half the time, you're sleeping in the other room.
- 00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:09,218 I talk to you all the time.
- 00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:12,055 No, John, you're not interested in me.
- 00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:14,849 You don't solicit my advice.
- 00:32:14,850 --> 00:32:16,976 You're not fascinated by what I want to say.
- 00:32:16,977 --> 00:32:18,185 You're not curious about me.
- 00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:20,771 You talk to me just long enough to keep the peace,
- 00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:23,108 just long enough to prevent more conversation.
- 00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:28,362 You used to be desperate to spend every single second with me,
- 00:32:28,363 --> 00:32:30,614 and now you treat our marriage like it's this layover
- 00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:32,659 between places that you really want to be.
- 00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:35,996 And I get it.
- 00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:41,585 I imagine it's tough seeing how unhappy you make me.
- 00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:52,637 You know what?
- 00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:54,264 It is.
- 00:33:01,354 --> 00:33:03,940 And that's all I seem to be capable of lately…
- 00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:06,776 is disappointing people.
- 00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:11,655 I spend all day fighting with publishers, investors, bankers,
- 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:14,951 all telling me to take my magazine out back and shoot it in the head.
- 00:33:15,744 --> 00:33:19,788 And then I come home and I fight with you about how I'm never home.
- 00:33:19,789 --> 00:33:22,166 And then I go to bed each night dreading the moment I get up
- 00:33:22,167 --> 00:33:24,376 and having to do it all over again.
- 00:33:24,377 --> 00:33:27,296 And the worst part about it is that I wanna talk to you about all of this,
- 00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:30,007 but you feel a million miles away.
- 00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,010 You're here, but you're not here.
- 00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:37,348 And I miss you, Carolyn. I miss the person I fell in love with.
- 00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:39,226 John, I'm right here.
- 00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:43,647 I am the person you fell in love with.
- 00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:47,858 But you don't want this version of me.
- 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,736 You want… You want the cold, unattainable,
- 00:33:50,737 --> 00:33:53,865 shiny version, the-the version of me that's like a trophy.
- 00:33:54,491 --> 00:33:56,867 I mean, the moment I started being vulnerable with you, you--
- 00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:58,703 You think you're vulnerable with me?
- 00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:04,291 To be vulnerable, you'd actually have to want something and need something.
- 00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:07,753 The only thing you seem to want to do is tell me again and again and again
- 00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,129 how much you hate our life.
- 00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:11,423 I knew it. I knew it. I should never have let my guard down.
- 00:34:11,424 --> 00:34:14,052 I broke my own rule. I'm so dumb.
- 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:18,180 - I've just been bracing myself. - For what?
- 00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:19,723 I'm always bracing myself, John.
- 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,851 I have spent my entire life just bracing myself
- 00:34:22,852 --> 00:34:25,896 for these terrible things to happen to me and deal with them alone.
- 00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:27,857 And this is no different from any of that.
- 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:30,734 You knew who I was before you married me.
- 00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:33,905 God, I wish people would stop telling me that.
- 00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,491 No one knows who they're marrying.
- 00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:39,035 Apparently not.
- 00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:46,626 People are supposed to change, John.
- 00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:49,379 I didn't.
- 00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:53,758 You say that like it's a virtue, like it's… like it's somehow commendable.
- 00:34:55,552 --> 00:34:57,386 You haven't made any space for me in your life.
- 00:34:57,387 --> 00:34:59,847 Tell me one thing that you have changed in your life
- 00:34:59,848 --> 00:35:01,557 since we've been married.
- 00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:04,018 You live in the same loft, you have the same job, the same friends,
- 00:35:04,019 --> 00:35:06,520 you spend the same weekends at Red Gate or Hyannis,
- 00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:08,231 the same schedule.
- 00:35:09,899 --> 00:35:13,485 Everything in my life has changed. Do you understand that?
- 00:35:13,486 --> 00:35:15,280 That's your choice.
- 00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:17,990 You act like every misfortune in your life
- 00:35:17,991 --> 00:35:20,200 is the result of some ultimatum I've given you,
- 00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:23,245 like you have zero agency in this relationship.
- 00:35:23,246 --> 00:35:26,498 I didn't make you quit your job. I didn't make you marry me.
- 00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:30,044 I didn't tell you to let the tabloids ruin your life. But you know what?
- 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:32,421 I think there's a part of you that enjoys this shit with the press.
- 00:35:32,422 --> 00:35:35,174 - Excuse me? - Yeah, so you can lord it over me.
- 00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:37,509 Punish me with it, fault me endlessly
- 00:35:37,510 --> 00:35:40,512 for not controlling things outside of my control.
- 00:35:40,513 --> 00:35:41,597 You relish it.
- 00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:44,433 It's like you have no identity outside of your own victimhood.
- 00:35:44,434 --> 00:35:48,437 Thank you. Thank you. You love how hated I am.
- 00:35:48,438 --> 00:35:50,230 Of course you do, because you're America's son,
- 00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:53,735 and I am just another tragedy you bravely endure.
- 00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:06,665 Well. Yeah, I think I may have hit my limit.
- 00:36:11,336 --> 00:36:13,004 What are you talking about?
- 00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:21,220 John, what are you talking about?
- 00:36:21,221 --> 00:36:25,057 Maybe I've endured enough tragedy for one lifetime.
- 00:36:25,058 --> 00:36:26,851 Fuck.
- 00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:35,902 John, come back.
- 00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:39,114 John!
- 00:36:40,824 --> 00:36:43,451 John, what are you doing?
- 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:46,621 What…
- 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,373 I can't keep doing this.
- 00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:53,211 What are you talking about?
- 00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:55,963 Doing what? What are you… What are you talking about?
- 00:36:55,964 --> 00:36:58,549 Everything and everyone I touch falls apart,
- 00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:00,259 and now this is falling apart too.
- 00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:04,555 And I just think that if I stay, I'm gonna do or say something that I'll regret.
- 00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,808 L-Like what? Like what, John?
- 00:37:07,517 --> 00:37:09,518 I'll be at the Stanhope. Just a day or two.
- 00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:12,230 No, J-John, just say what you were gonna say.
- 00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,732 There is nothing you can say to me
- 00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:17,444 that would hurt me more than you walking out that door.
- 00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:20,654 Do you know what it's like to see it in your eyes
- 00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:22,448 that I'm failing at this marriage?
- 00:37:22,449 --> 00:37:25,577 Like I failed as a lawyer and now I'm failing as a magazine editor.
- 00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:29,747 I couldn't help my mom. And I can't help Anthony.
- 00:37:29,748 --> 00:37:32,166 And I don't think I can handle another failure right now.
- 00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:33,168 No, John.
- 00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:39,382 When I told you everything ends, you said not us.
- 00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:44,052 What happened to not us, John?
- 00:37:44,053 --> 00:37:46,805 What happened to not us? What happened to not us?
- 00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:48,850 What happened to not us?
- 00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:53,062 What happened to not us?
- 00:37:53,772 --> 00:37:56,482 When I told you everything ends, you said not us.
- 00:37:56,483 --> 00:37:58,526 What happened to not us?
- 00:38:04,908 --> 00:38:06,200 This isn't ending.
- 00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:07,577 Yes, it is.
- 00:38:09,829 --> 00:38:11,121 You're running away.
- 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:13,123 I don't want to keep hurting you, Carolyn.
- 00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:15,000 I wanna be with you.
- 00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:16,543 Then be with me.
- 00:38:16,544 --> 00:38:18,171 I don't wanna fight.
- 00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:22,258 You have to.
- 00:38:23,343 --> 00:38:26,386 That's what people do. They fight. They stay, they fight.
- 00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:28,889 If we keep fighting, we're gonna lose each other.
- 00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:31,643 Please don't leave me.
- 00:38:32,769 --> 00:38:34,187 Please.
- 00:38:42,779 --> 00:38:44,948 Please don't prove my mother right.
- 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,333 I'm coming back, I promise.
- 00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,593 I love you.
- 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,429 [♪ "Smoke Rings" playing]
- 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:29,571 <i>♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪</i>
- 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:35,369 <i>♪ Puff your cares away ♪</i>
- 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:43,126 <i>♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪</i>
- 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:49,049 <i>♪ Night and day ♪</i>
- 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:57,390 <i>♪ Blow, blow them through the air ♪</i>
- 00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:03,313 <i>♪ Silky little rings ♪</i>
- 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:07,441 <i>♪ Those little smoke rings I love ♪</i>
- 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:08,776 - [elevator dings] - [song ends]
- 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:09,860 [water running]
- 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:10,904 [elevator door opens]
- 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,739 Hi.
- 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:14,992 Hey.
- 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,411 How was… How was the thing?
- 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,082 Well, you know.
- 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:27,337 [smacks lips] It was a journalist's book party in Midtown.
- 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,548 How do you think it was?
- 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:34,011 - Utterly fine? [chuckles] - [John chuckles] Violently fine.
- 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,430 Anthony dropped by for a bit.
- 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,806 Yeah? How'd he look?
- 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,434 [John sighs] Frail.
- 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,227 Wonder why he bothered showing up.
- 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,478 Life is for the living.
- 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,397 [Carolyn chuckles] Does that constitute living?
- 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:48,274 [scoffs] A journalist book party in Midtown?
- 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,483 I had fun.
- 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,486 [♪ "No Ordinary Love" playing]
- 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,531 - Did you? - [John] Yeah.
- 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,616 Although I did get trapped for about 20 minutes
- 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,535 by that artist lady who wears those hats.
- 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,203 [stutters] Lizzie is a publicist.
- 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,207 The reason you think she's an artist is because she's a good publicist.
- 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,084 Um.
- 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,591 [chuckles] Wha-What are you doing?
- 00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:15,217 What does it look like I'm doing?
- 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,637 [Carolyn giggles]
- 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,139 I love this song.
- 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:26,896 <i>♪ This is no ordinary love ♪</i>
- 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,522 You know what else I love?
- 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,566 Mmm?
- 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,110 I love you.
- 00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,408 I love you too.
- 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:46,415 Tonight would have been so much more fun if you were there.
- 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,669 Everything's more fun when I'm there.
- 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:54,049 - That's usually true. - [giggles]
- 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,678 [John] You know, I think this is the first song we ever danced to.
- 00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,681 God, we barely knew each other then.
- 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,516 - I knew you. I knew who you were. - Mmm?
- 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,017 - Yeah? [chuckles] - You were fearless.
- 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,353 No, I was terrified.
- 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,314 <i>♪ A love like that won't last? ♪</i>
- 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,151 The way you used to walk into a room and just own it.
- 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,447 Used to?
- 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,409 No, you-you know what I mean.
- 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,371 Baby, I missed you tonight.
- 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,708 Everyone was asking where you were.
- 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,003 It's hard to keep track of all the excuses at this point.
- 00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:37,425 <i>♪ This is no ordinary love ♪</i>
- 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:40,804 <i>♪ No ordinary love ♪</i>
- 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,268 You're hungry. I don't want the food to get cold.
- 00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:58,613 [music stops]
- 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,328 I'm sorry.
- 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,331 I wasn't trying to guilt-trip you.
- 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,460 Just missed you.
- 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:15,422 I mean it was a completely mediocre book party in Midtown. I…
- 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,466 Really doesn't sound like I missed much, right?
- 00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:19,468 [John sighs]
- 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,804 [Carolyn clears throat]
- 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,557 If you were so desperate to see me, you would have just skipped it to see me.
- 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,351 And the fact that it didn't even occur to you as an option makes me feel like
- 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,730 this isn't just about us spending time together, but about…
- 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,859 people seeing us spend time together.
- 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,818 Just… [sighs]
- 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,821 I hate showing up to these things alone.
- 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,573 Because of what people will say?
- 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,450 No. No.
- 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,659 [Carolyn] Mmm.
- 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,912 - Well, obviously that's part of it. - Mm-hmm.
- 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,414 [John] You know what happens anytime I show up to these things alone.
- 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:51,499 [sighs]
- 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,168 There's another headline stating that we're headed for divorce.
- 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:57,505 Uh, well, I mean, at this point, they're gonna write a story no matter what.
- 00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:58,507 - So… - [John] Exactly.
- 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,259 Damned if we do, damned if we don't.
- 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,720 Right, I just… I feel like we're saying the same thing here.
- 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:08,391 All I'm saying is I'd like to spend time with you outside of this loft.
- 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,482 I have a crazy idea.
- 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,360 - A plate? - Um, let's go on a trip.
- 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,904 - What kind of a trip? - [Carolyn] Any kind of trip you want.
- 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:25,574 Mmm. Paris, Belize, Tahiti.
- 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,992 - Tahiti? - Yeah, Tahiti.
- 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,994 Just you and me at the beach.
- 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,331 No parties, no obligation, no press.
- 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:33,749 No clothes.
- 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,293 - Carolyn. - I'm serious.
- 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,673 Maybe after the holidays.
- 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,466 After the holidays? John, it's-it's August.
- 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,679 It's August 30th. That's essentially September.
- 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,514 We have the Delancey Street Foundation dinner
- 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,015 - in San Francisco. - Mm-hmm.
- 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,851 Back to New York for Fashion Week.
- 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,519 Then I have the Cuba trip.
- 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,647 After that, we're in the Vineyard, straight to Red Gate.
- 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,775 Then we're back in the city for Terry and Valerie's Halloween party.
- 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,152 November is the <i>George</i> anniversary dinner.
- 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,737 - Mm-hmm. - Thanksgiving at Hyannis.
- 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,239 - [huffs] - Christmas with the cousins.
- 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,740 Your birthday in January.
- 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,952 Figured you'd wanna be with friends, but, yeah, a trip sounds nice.
- 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:12,329 [chuckles]
- 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:17,042 Okay, so what you're saying is we can't go on vacation until 1998?
- 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,044 [John] Of course not.
- 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,672 We have Hyannis next weekend, remember?
- 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,176 Fuck me, I forgot.
- 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,723 You know, a lot of people consider the Cape to be
- 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,726 one of the most beautiful areas of the country.
- 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,643 Yeah, I'm aware of that.
- 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,062 I don't have a problem with the Cape. It's the compound.
- 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,064 [John] What about it?
- 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,774 Come on. [scoffs]
- 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,027 No, let's hear it.
- 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,820 - Out with it. - [chuckles]
- 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:48,949 Um. It's not relaxing. Every minute of the day is accounted for.
- 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:52,454 We can't sleep in, we can't sit on the beach, we can't go for a walk.
- 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,332 - There's no privacy, so we never have sex. - Hmm.
- 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:59,918 Oh. There's never enough hot water, which is frankly mind-boggling,
- 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,004 given the marvel that is modern plumbing.
- 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:05,508 And even in the height of summer, it's always cold, like w-how?
- 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,178 And there are all these insane, unwritten rules.
- 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:13,183 Like, uh, board games are verboten, but playing cards encouraged.
- 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,809 - What's the difference? - [chuckles]
- 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:19,438 Oh. And yogurt at breakfast is sensible, but yogurt at lunch is,
- 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,981 and I'm quoting your cousin here,
- 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:24,109 - "Some Weight Watchers shit." [scoffs] - "Some Weight Watchers shit."
- 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,738 Oh. And that, um, that rule about no TV during the day.
- 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,281 Well, that's not a rule.
- 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,993 It's just… Do you wanna watch TV during the day?
- 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,953 I want the option.
- 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:39,541 Spending your day in front of the TV on a beautiful summer's day is just wasteful.
- 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,126 [Carolyn] So it is a rule?
- 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,211 It's a norm.
- 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,714 Oh, there's nothing norm about it, trust me.
- 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,634 Everyone shoots me these judgmental looks whenever I read magazines.
- 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:52,680 And-And before you say that Caroline reads magazines all the time too,
- 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:56,100 let me interrupt your interruption and say that Caroline reads <i>The New Republic,</i>
- 00:07:56,101 --> 00:08:00,355 and while, technically, yes, that's a magazine, spiritually, it's a book.
- 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,732 <i>- Vogue</i>, that's a magazine. - [scoffs]
- 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,859 [Carolyn] And don't think I haven't noticed the expectant looks
- 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,820 on everyone's faces when I abstain from a cocktail.
- 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,614 I am basically guzzling Dark 'n' Stormys prophylactically
- 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,865 at this point.
- 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:14,743 Yeah, I-I have to drink or else people will think I'm pregnant. [scoffs]
- 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,495 You think I'm joking, but I'm serious.
- 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:20,374 I-I just feel like I'm on display, like… like there's this sense of visibility.
- 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,961 Like-like my body is this living, breathing report card
- 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,256 broadcasting the state of our relationship.
- 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,175 - You could always drink a Sea Breeze. - [Carolyn giggles]
- 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,010 - [gasps] And the clams. - The clams?
- 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,178 Over Fourth of July weekend,
- 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,431 your family had five clambakes over three days.
- 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,433 Six actually.
- 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,227 We had a midnight clambake, but I let you sleep through that one.
- 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,187 Who wants clams at midnight?
- 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,857 That-That's diabolical. [stammers] That's sadistic.
- 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,609 Okay, okay, I hear you.
- 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,530 - Hyannis can be specific. - No, I believe I said, "Sadistic."
- 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,158 I like spending time with our family. I'm sorry.
- 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,367 John, they're your family.
- 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,618 [John] They're your family too.
- 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,954 - Family is important. - Yeah, you and me, we're a family.
- 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,248 [phone ringing]
- 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,215 Hello.
- 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,093 What? [stutters]
- 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,054 What happened?
- 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,975 Laur-Lauren, slow down, you're scaring me.
- 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,436 - [John] What's going on? - [stutters]
- 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,355 [stutters] Mm-hmm.
- 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,900 Okay, what channel?
- 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,693 [stutters] Will you?
- 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,738 Yeah, okay, let me call you back, all right?
- 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:33,947 Love you. Bye.
- 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:34,949 [thuds]
- 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,577 [news anchor] <i>An update now on the condition of Princess Diana,</i>
- 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,663 <i>who was involved in a traffic accident in Paris this evening.</i>
- 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,457 <i>She is in a serious condition.</i>
- 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,709 <i>She was driving with her companion, Dodi Al-Fayed.</i>
- 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,545 <i>He, according to police officials, died in the accident…</i>
- 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,589 - Oh, my God! - [news anchor] <i>…along with a chauffeur.</i>
- 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:54,676 <i>The princess's bodyguard was also injured. We don't know his condition at this hour.</i>
- 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,512 - <i>The accident happened</i>… - Oh, my God.
- 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,347 [news anchor] …<i>as Diana's car was being pursued</i>
- 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,225 <i>by a group of paparazzis on motorcycles as they entered a tunnel</i>
- 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,102 <i>- along the River Seine.</i> - I just saw her.
- 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,645 - What? - At Gianni's funeral.
- 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,438 I-I sat right behind her.
- 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,566 [news anchor] <i>She has been monitoring Paris for any new information.</i>
- 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,069 - [news anchor] <i>Nina, can you hear me?</i> - [Nina] <i>Yes, I can.</i>
- 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,489 [news anchor] <i>Dodi Al-Fayed, obviously, a very famous man, a millionaire as well.</i>
- 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,865 <i>Do you have any news on his condition?</i>
- 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,869 <i>We have police reports and others saying that he is in fact…</i>
- 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:24,248 [Nina] <i>All we know at the moment is that he has in fact…</i>
- 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,041 <i>…as well as the driver.</i>
- 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,585 <i>Princess Diana apparently has been severely injured</i>
- 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,212 <i>as well as a bodyguard.</i>
- 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,839 [news anchor 2] <i>Do we know the nature of her injury?</i>
- 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,632 - Carolyn. - [Nina] <i>Not at this moment.</i>
- 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,634 <i>- We know that she has been taken…</i> - Carolyn.
- 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,718 [Carolyn] Yeah?
- 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,013 The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean?
- 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:41,850 [Carolyn] What?
- 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,810 The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean?
- 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:45,894 I-I don't know.
- 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,272 [news anchor] <i>There has been no comment from Buckingham Palace…</i>
- 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,399 [John] You don't know if you ran the dishwasher or not?
- 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,484 - [stutters] What? - [John] I don't get how you don't know.
- 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,778 - You either ran it or you didn't. - Why are you asking me?
- 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:55,946 [John] You've been home all day.
- 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,823 Do you remember hearing the dishwasher run?
- 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,449 Yes, I did a dish wash.
- 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:00,577 [sighs]
- 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,620 [news anchor 2] <i>The paparazzi, of course, have been trying to photograph</i>
- 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:07,791 <i>Princess Diana with Dodi Al-Fayed, a famous millionaire with whom</i>
- 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,961 <i>she has been in a romantic relationship for the last couple of weeks.</i>
- 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:13,547 [news anchor] <i>Have they been engendering a fair bit of publicity</i>
- 00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:16,091 <i>while they were in Paris? 'Cause most people knew they were there.</i>
- 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:20,847 [Nina] <i>Oh, yes. There has been an extraordinary amount of tabloid and media…</i>
- 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,140 [news anchor] <i>What can you tell us</i>
- 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,058 <i>about the area of Paris where the accident occurred?</i>
- 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,019 <i>I guess it was the entrance ramp of the tunnel.</i>
- 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,771 [Nina] <i>It was an entrance route to the underground tunnel</i>
- 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,690 <i>that goes under the Seine River.</i>
- 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:36,612 <i>This area is well-known by tourists. So it's a very well-populated area.</i>
- 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,238 - [clunks] - [news anchor 2] <i>Let's go back</i>
- 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,615 <i>to the scene of the wreckage.</i>
- 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,702 <i>There's the recognizable back end of the Mercedes sedan,</i>
- 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,496 <i>and there is the unrecognizable front end</i>
- 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,666 <i>of what must have been a high-speed collision.</i>
- 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,377 <i>In the front part of the car, the two flashes of white there</i>
- 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:55,964 <i>are the deployed airbags, the remnants of the airbags.</i>
- 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,426 <i>Princess Diana is unmatched when it comes to generating interest</i>
- 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,553 <i>and, indeed, cash for deserving projects…</i>
- 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,555 - I'm going for a run. - [news anchor 2] <i>…taken an interest.</i>
- 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,390 <i>- Her most high-profile involvement…</i> - What?
- 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,559 [news anchor 2] <i>…has been to draw the world's attention</i>
- 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,479 <i>- to the horrors facing civilians…</i> - John.
- 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,314 - I'll be back in a bit. - [Carolyn scoffs]
- 00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,524 [♪ "Exit Music" playing]
- 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,029 - [news anchor] <i>Diana was also recently…</i> - [elevator dings, opens]
- 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,157 [news anchor] <i>…mostly dominating headlines in the newspaper,</i>
- 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:26,286 <i>especially in Britain, concerning her relationship with Dodi Al-Fayed,</i>
- 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:29,164 <i>which reported that she joined her 40-year-old millionaire companion</i>
- 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,376 <i>and a group of friends for a Mediterranean cruise,</i>
- 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,671 <i>once again, putting her personal life under scrutiny.</i>
- 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,632 <i>Her private holiday was filmed by the Italian paparazzi,</i>
- 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,969 <i>who are now auctioning the photographs to the highest bidder.</i>
- 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,679 <i>We will continue to cover…</i>
- 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,683 <i>♪ We escape ♪</i>
- 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:56,484 <i>♪ Breathe ♪</i>
- 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,779 <i>♪ Keep breathing ♪</i>
- 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:04,575 <i>♪ I can't do this ♪</i>
- 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,330 <i>♪ Alone ♪</i>
- 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:24,887 <i>♪ You can laugh ♪</i>
- 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:32,937 <i>♪ A spineless laugh ♪</i>
- 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,606 <i>♪ We hope your rules ♪</i>
- 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,609 [news anchor] <i>…it said, and I quote,</i>
- 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,194 <i>"Princess Diana has died."</i>
- 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:48,161 <i>♪ And wisdom choke you ♪</i>
- 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:57,086 <i>♪ Now we are one ♪</i>
- 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:05,344 <i>♪ In everlasting peace ♪</i>
- 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:11,893 <i>♪ We hope that you choke ♪</i>
- 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:18,066 <i>♪ That you choke ♪</i>
- 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,789 [elevator door closes]
- 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,833 [news anchor 4] <i>…very tragic turn, with confirmation</i>
- 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,335 <i>from Buckingham Palace tonight</i>
- 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:42,464 <i>that the world has lost Princess Diana at age 36.</i>
- 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,759 <i>The official cause of death was listed as cardiac arrest</i>
- 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,803 <i>following massive trauma and head injuries.</i>
- 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,054 - [Carolyn] She's dead. - [sighs]
- 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,640 [news anchor 4] <i>Doctors noted that these injuries were consistent</i>
- 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,559 <i>with a high-speed collision.</i>
- 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,561 [news anchor 5] <i>If you are now tuning in, we have been covering…</i>
- 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,731 - They killed her. - [news anchor 5] <i>…accident of Princess…</i>
- 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,983 [Carolyn] She did everything right, posed for every photo,
- 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,069 gave them everything they wanted, and they just…
- 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,822 [news anchor 5] <i>Her companion, Dodi Al-Fayed, was killed outright…</i>
- 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,533 - …they still killed her. - [news anchor 5] <i>…the Mercedes car.</i>
- 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,160 <i>- Surgeons at a nearby hospital…</i> - It's very sad.
- 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:15,539 - [Carolyn] It's monstrous. - [news anchor 5] <i>…a battle they lost.</i>
- 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,623 <i>The British ambassador…</i>
- 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,292 She was their princess, and they treated her like prey.
- 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,170 [news anchor 5] <i>…which we now know got rather frantic</i>
- 00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,339 <i>as they started to lose her pulse.</i>
- 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,633 - [news anchor 5] <i>At the scene, police… -</i> I gotta clean my face off.
- 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:30,595 [news anchor 5] <i>…paparazzi photographers allegedly pursuing the princess's car</i>
- 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,264 <i>in a high-speed chase.</i>
- 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,807 <i>Seven men were arrested.</i>
- 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,852 <i>And the film rolls have all been confiscated.</i>
- 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,354 <i>And the world is slowly learning of this news…</i>
- 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:43,608 You know, I think there's something really macabre about watching this shit
- 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,695 when right now, halfway across the world, someone is waking up her kids
- 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:49,072 before they find out their parent is dead on TV.
- 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,324 [news anchor 5] <i>He and the First Lady have sent</i>
- 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:53,995 <i>their condolences to Buckingham Palace.</i>
- 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:59,417 <i>There are reports that the royal family, uh, they are at Balmoral in Scotland…</i>
- 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,172 [Carolyn] I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
- 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:07,758 [sighs]
- 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,314 [Carolyn] Those poor boys.
- 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,567 At least they have each other.
- 00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,695 Like you and Caroline.
- 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,781 - Like me and Caroline? - [Carolyn] Yeah.
- 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:34,452 This is nothing like what me and Caroline went through.
- 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:38,455 They're princes. They're members of a monarchy.
- 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:41,541 I was three when my dad died. I grew up 60 blocks from here.
- 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,420 I rode my bike to school. It's night and day.
- 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,632 Okay.
- 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,597 You're telling me it wasn't like that.
- 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:57,934 What was it like?
- 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,188 - I don't wanna talk about it. - John.
- 00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,732 You're making assumptions and trying to tell me
- 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,108 what my own childhood was like,
- 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,194 and I have everyone else in the world to do that for me
- 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,364 without having to hear it from my own wife.
- 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,084 John.
- 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,505 I'm just trying to understand.
- 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,968 - Does it not scare you? - [sighs]
- 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,353 John.
- 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,898 Fine.
- 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,902 You wanna know what I'm so scared of? What's going through my head?
- 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,698 What I was thinking about the entire time during my jog?
- 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,909 That you are never gonna leave the house again.
- 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,161 Do I see the parallels between what we deal with
- 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,621 and what happened to her?
- 00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,040 Of course I do. But can I say that?
- 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,420 No, it'll just be one more thing that's gonna stop you from living your life.
- 00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,801 You wanna know why I can't watch this?
- 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:19,390 Because if I do, I'll never fucking stop, okay?
- 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,650 [sighs]
- 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,782 Do you wanna hear about my childhood?
- 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,786 I don't remember my dad dying, at all.
- 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:46,374 But what I remember vividly is my mom being basically in a trance.
- 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:49,210 And the hours that Caroline and the nanny and I spent
- 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,548 while my mom was locked away in a dark room, crying alone.
- 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:04,143 And why… Couldn't she just play with me?
- 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:14,028 It was my mother I watched die, not my dad.
- 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,739 I watched her die twice.
- 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:26,374 And now it feels like I'm watching you slip away.
- 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,585 You're choosing the darkness.
- 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:35,007 I'm watching it happen. I feel like I'm being abandoned again.
- 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:39,219 I can't lose you. You're the one person I can't lose.
- 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,303 Do you understand that?
- 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:44,140 I've lost so many people in my life, and I can't lose you.
- 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,643 I can't. I can't lose you.
- 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:51,690 - John. - [John] I can't, I can't. I can't. [sobs]
- 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,193 [Carolyn shushes]
- 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,280 I can't lose you, Carolyn.
- 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,992 - Breathe. - [John sobbing]
- 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,162 I'm not going anywhere.
- 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,210 Just breathe.
- 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:36,025 [♪ "Smile" playing]
- 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:39,280 <i>♪ Now you should smile ♪</i>
- 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:45,536 <i>♪ Though your heart is aching ♪</i>
- 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:52,793 <i>♪ Smile even though it's breaking ♪</i>
- 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:59,175 <i>♪ When there are clouds ♪</i>
- 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:03,053 <i>♪ Way up in the sky ♪</i>
- 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,224 <i>♪ You're gonna get by ♪</i>
- 00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:11,687 <i>♪ That's the time ♪</i>
- 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:17,067 <i>♪ You must keep on trying ♪</i>
- 00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:19,820 <i>♪ Oh, you gotta smile ♪</i>
- 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,993 <i>♪ What's the use of crying ♪</i>
- 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:31,624 <i>♪ You'll find that life is still ♪</i>
- 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:38,964 <i>♪ Worthwhile ♪</i>
- 00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:42,092 <i>♪ If you'd just ♪</i>
- 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:47,473 <i>♪ Smile ♪</i>
- 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,350 <i>♪ Come on ♪</i>
- 00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:56,357 <i>♪ Now show me a little smile ♪</i>
- 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,821 You're gonna hurt yourself.
- 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,992 - You sure you don't want a hand? - [Carolyn] No, I'm good.
- 00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:13,164 God, we went through so much wine.
- 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,166 [John] Uh-huh.
- 00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:19,171 [grunts]
- 00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:27,096 [phone beeps]
- 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,181 [sighs]
- 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:33,769 Hey, Jason. It's John.
- 00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:37,273 My dinner is done. I'm just at home.
- 00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:39,233 Give me a call whenever.
- 00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,903 Why are you calling your flight instructor?
- 00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:46,031 What are you talking about? I talk to him all the time.
- 00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:51,119 I have to log 40 more hours before I'm instrument-rated. [grunts]
- 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:54,497 You just crashed flying that ridiculous lawn mower contraption.
- 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:56,583 I think it's obvious you need a bit more time than that.
- 00:22:56,584 --> 00:23:00,086 It's called a Buckeye, and it's an entirely different machine.
- 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,381 Buckeyes have nothing to do with airplanes.
- 00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:06,843 Didn't you promise Caroline you were done with flying?
- 00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:09,555 Since when are you so concerned with what Caroline wants?
- 00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:15,811 What are you doing?
- 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,522 - I want my cigarettes. - No, just sit. Sit. I'll get them for you.
- 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:22,025 I don't want you hobbling up the stairs.
- 00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:24,445 [John] They're not up the stairs. They're in my room.
- 00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:35,748 - [door closes] - [cutlery clanking]
- 00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:39,835 [John grunts]
- 00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:43,087 You know, if we left now, we could probably catch the tail end
- 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,007 of that <i>Vanity Fair</i> party at Pravda.
- 00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:50,053 John, you're not supposed to be putting any pressure on that ankle.
- 00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:52,348 No parties, no stairs, no flying lessons.
- 00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:55,892 Well, we'll take a cab. I can sit when I get there.
- 00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:56,894 [Carolyn sighs]
- 00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:01,022 - Ugh. Fuck. - [Carolyn] I'm wiped.
- 00:24:01,023 --> 00:24:04,317 But if you wanna go, you should go.
- 00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:05,986 Wiped? It's not even 11:00.
- 00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,743 Can you please stop with the candle?
- 00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:15,371 Wait, is this a fight right now?
- 00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:19,248 No, I'm fine.
- 00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:21,210 What? What now?
- 00:24:25,255 --> 00:24:28,216 Fine, if you want me to sit here and beg you for it, I will.
- 00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:30,093 Or we can just fast-forward to the part
- 00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:32,304 where you tell me exactly how it is I fucked up.
- 00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:35,099 [John sighs]
- 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:37,851 You told me to go work for Petra.
- 00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:41,813 - When? - Uh, thirty minutes ago,
- 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,440 at this dinner party you insisted on hosting.
- 00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:47,819 Petra was complaining about how difficult it is to find
- 00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:50,780 anyone with work experience willing to build something from the ground up
- 00:24:50,781 --> 00:24:52,991 and accept a pay cut, and you started yelling at me for--
- 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,410 - I did not yell. - Yeah, John, you were literally yelling.
- 00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:58,162 And I know that because you were seated at the other end of the table.
- 00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,373 All I said was that you had fashion experience
- 00:25:00,374 --> 00:25:02,251 - and you didn't need money. - PR.
- 00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:08,631 - I have PR experience. - At Calvin Klein.
- 00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:10,216 Isn't that fashion? That's fashion.
- 00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:13,469 Petra has a jewelry line, John. I'm not a jewelry designer.
- 00:25:13,470 --> 00:25:15,972 Well, I'm sorry for insinuating that you have great taste.
- 00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:18,058 Yeah, that qualifies me to buy jewelry.
- 00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,352 - Not make it. - [sighs]
- 00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:29,527 It's humiliating getting pitched for job after job
- 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,237 regardless of my interests or qualifications.
- 00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:33,156 - When have I ever-- - [Carolyn] You do it all the time.
- 00:25:33,157 --> 00:25:34,449 I mean, you practically shoved me
- 00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:36,743 into André Leon Talley's lap at that fundraiser.
- 00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:38,745 - No, I did not. - [Carolyn] John, yes, you did.
- 00:25:38,746 --> 00:25:41,039 You know, it makes me feel like I am this dead weight
- 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,042 that you are desperate to shed. You're just… You're…
- 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,503 You're getting wax all over the table.
- 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:49,506 I thought you hated this table.
- 00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:01,601 What did you mean I insisted on hosting this dinner party?
- 00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:03,144 It was your idea, wasn't it?
- 00:26:03,145 --> 00:26:05,938 Well, I knew better than to suggest we go to a restaurant,
- 00:26:05,939 --> 00:26:07,857 or anywhere else other than this apartment.
- 00:26:07,858 --> 00:26:09,233 [stammers] Are you seriously that upset
- 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:11,320 that I organized a dinner party for your friends?
- 00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:14,490 It really bothers me when you do that.
- 00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:16,741 Do what?
- 00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:19,035 Delineate between my friends and your friends.
- 00:26:19,036 --> 00:26:21,955 We're a unit, John. They're our friends.
- 00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:23,832 [sighs]
- 00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:26,710 Okay, Carolyn.
- 00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:31,130 - Pronoun rescinded. - [Carolyn] What are you doing?
- 00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:33,050 Sorry if my grammar offended you.
- 00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:46,813 [Carolyn] Y-You seemed perfectly happy holding court with my friends.
- 00:26:46,814 --> 00:26:49,817 [John] Yeah, well, they were bombarding me with questions.
- 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,529 Yes.
- 00:26:56,156 --> 00:27:00,827 And to be honest, I think people are uncomfortable asking you
- 00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:02,286 about what's going on in your life
- 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,705 'cause they're not sure if you want to talk about it.
- 00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:07,166 [stutters] What do you mean what's going on in my life?
- 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:10,921 You know, that you're still trying to figure out your thing.
- 00:27:11,547 --> 00:27:13,048 My thing. [scoffs]
- 00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:18,678 You know, enough with this relentless pressure to have a thing.
- 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,013 Why do I have to have a thing?
- 00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:23,641 It's all I hear about from your family and your friends
- 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,685 and-and the press, and especially you.
- 00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:27,728 Because it's not enough to just be a Kennedy, no.
- 00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:29,856 No, you have to work at the NRDC or make a documentary
- 00:27:29,857 --> 00:27:31,984 or write a book about constitutional law.
- 00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:36,237 I am 33 years old. I've been working since I'm 15.
- 00:27:36,238 --> 00:27:38,656 Can't my thing just be taking a beat
- 00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,741 to settle into my marriage and enjoy my life?
- 00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:44,162 Is that what you're doing all day alone in the apartment, enjoying your life?
- 00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:48,584 I'm figuring it out.
- 00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:51,794 And in the meantime, I don't wanna just join some board
- 00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:55,172 because it would make you feel better when people ask me what I do at dinner parties.
- 00:27:55,173 --> 00:27:57,216 I would think you, of all people, should be able to understand that.
- 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:58,676 - Me, of all people? - [Carolyn] Yes, John.
- 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:01,138 You, of all people, should know what this is like.
- 00:28:01,763 --> 00:28:04,473 Instead, you just come at me with all this unhelpful help,
- 00:28:04,474 --> 00:28:06,517 like it's become a full-time job just…
- 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:10,521 just batting away this constant barrage of indiscriminate suggestions
- 00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:12,691 on how to fill my days, and-and…
- 00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:15,861 and I… I feel guilty.
- 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:20,282 Because I know you think you're trying to be helpful, but it doesn't…
- 00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:23,452 It doesn't feel helpful.
- 00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,246 It feels like you're judging me.
- 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,040 So, what am I supposed to do when you complain
- 00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:31,001 about how unmoored your life feels?
- 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,836 Just sit there and say nothing?
- 00:28:33,837 --> 00:28:35,088 Yes. Yes.
- 00:28:35,881 --> 00:28:37,257 Just say nothing.
- 00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:40,218 Just… Just listen.
- 00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:43,220 That's what I need from you.
- 00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:46,474 I just need you to sit and listen and let me feel lost.
- 00:28:46,475 --> 00:28:50,771 Can I… Like, can I just… f-feel lost?
- 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,899 Can you please allow me the space to do that?
- 00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:56,859 Yes.
- 00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:58,862 - [sighs] Okay. - [John] Yes, I can do that.
- 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:07,161 You know, look, I get that it's daunting to start over, but just look at my mom.
- 00:29:07,162 --> 00:29:08,705 Oh, my God.
- 00:29:09,247 --> 00:29:12,416 She was a lifelong reader who became a book editor at the age of 46.
- 00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:14,877 Forty-six. Yes, John, I know. I know.
- 00:29:14,878 --> 00:29:16,963 All I'm saying is that she figured it out
- 00:29:16,964 --> 00:29:20,091 despite public scrutiny or the threat of public scrutiny.
- 00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:23,803 John, it is impossible for me to overstate just how aware I am
- 00:29:23,804 --> 00:29:26,055 that your mother was a very impressive woman.
- 00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:27,557 Believe me, okay?
- 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,477 But do you think your mother could have held a nine-to-five job in publishing
- 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,939 when she was married to the most famous man on the planet?
- 00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:37,692 - She did that when she was a widow. - Enough! Enough about my mother.
- 00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:40,778 - What? John, John, you brought her up. - And now I'm saying to drop it.
- 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,655 - You mention my mother enough. - Your mother's still here
- 00:29:42,656 --> 00:29:43,906 - to defend herself. - Mm-hmm.
- 00:29:43,907 --> 00:29:46,742 You don't know how lucky you are that I never introduced you to my mother
- 00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:48,954 because she never would have encouraged this.
- 00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:50,914 Us.
- 00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:00,173 Wow.
- 00:30:00,757 --> 00:30:02,758 I mean, it's not like I would have listened to her.
- 00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:04,177 No, no. Yeah. Sure.
- 00:30:08,724 --> 00:30:10,558 Maybe I should have listened to mine.
- 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:11,726 What?
- 00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:13,979 My mother basically told me I should end this.
- 00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:15,605 When?
- 00:30:17,566 --> 00:30:20,609 - At the wedding. - All right. The speech.
- 00:30:20,610 --> 00:30:22,070 No, no, it was earlier.
- 00:30:25,198 --> 00:30:27,284 - That afternoon. - [John] What are you talking about?
- 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,745 Carolyn.
- 00:30:31,621 --> 00:30:33,915 Carolyn, what are you talking about?
- 00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:37,877 - Carolyn. - [Carolyn] My mother came into my room
- 00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:40,922 the day of our rehearsal dinner and warned me not to marry you.
- 00:30:42,382 --> 00:30:45,009 She said that you would never prioritize me,
- 00:30:45,010 --> 00:30:48,429 that you'd always choose your job or your family or yourself,
- 00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:51,141 that you would never make space for me in your life.
- 00:30:53,477 --> 00:30:55,770 And I pushed back on her, I told her she was wrong,
- 00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:59,565 - and now… now I-I don't know that she was. - Carolyn, I do make space for you.
- 00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:02,861 No, John, John, I know you think you do, but you're always out.
- 00:31:04,362 --> 00:31:08,449 You come home at 11:00, at midnight. Last night, you were home at 3:00 a.m.
- 00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:10,367 Yeah, well, we're closing the August issue of <i>George</i>.
- 00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:11,703 You're always… Uh…
- 00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:16,416 You're always closing the magazine.
- 00:31:17,125 --> 00:31:20,419 Or you're out getting drinks to celebrate closing the magazine,
- 00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:23,964 or you're chasing some writer or investor, or you're tearing up the layout,
- 00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:26,467 and if it's not the magazine, it's a Kennedy benefit
- 00:31:26,468 --> 00:31:29,428 or a fundraiser or a Senate run.
- 00:31:29,429 --> 00:31:31,139 So you don't support it.
- 00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:33,767 [sighs]
- 00:31:34,851 --> 00:31:36,645 I support you.
- 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,899 And I'd support it if I really thought it was something you believed in,
- 00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:45,278 but everything for you comes out of this misplaced sense of obligation.
- 00:31:46,196 --> 00:31:48,030 Like your lunch idea.
- 00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:50,032 I specifically set aside two lunches a week,
- 00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:51,826 so that I can spend time with you.
- 00:31:51,827 --> 00:31:54,286 That's not the same as wanting to spend time with me.
- 00:31:54,287 --> 00:31:56,915 - [John] It's literally the same thing. - No, lunch is a checkbox.
- 00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,543 It's something you can tell yourself to absolve yourself of guilt.
- 00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:02,671 - What guilt? - You don't want to be around me.
- 00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,340 You don't want to talk to me.
- 00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:07,883 Half the time, you're sleeping in the other room.
- 00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:09,218 I talk to you all the time.
- 00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:12,055 No, John, you're not interested in me.
- 00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:14,849 You don't solicit my advice.
- 00:32:14,850 --> 00:32:16,976 You're not fascinated by what I want to say.
- 00:32:16,977 --> 00:32:18,185 You're not curious about me.
- 00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:20,771 You talk to me just long enough to keep the peace,
- 00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:23,108 just long enough to prevent more conversation.
- 00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:28,362 You used to be desperate to spend every single second with me,
- 00:32:28,363 --> 00:32:30,614 and now you treat our marriage like it's this layover
- 00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:32,659 between places that you really want to be.
- 00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:35,996 And I get it.
- 00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:41,585 I imagine it's tough seeing how unhappy you make me.
- 00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:52,637 You know what?
- 00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:54,264 It is.
- 00:33:01,354 --> 00:33:03,940 And that's all I seem to be capable of lately…
- 00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:06,776 is disappointing people.
- 00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:11,655 I spend all day fighting with publishers, investors, bankers,
- 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:14,951 all telling me to take my magazine out back and shoot it in the head.
- 00:33:15,744 --> 00:33:19,788 And then I come home and I fight with you about how I'm never home.
- 00:33:19,789 --> 00:33:22,166 And then I go to bed each night dreading the moment I get up
- 00:33:22,167 --> 00:33:24,376 and having to do it all over again.
- 00:33:24,377 --> 00:33:27,296 And the worst part about it is that I wanna talk to you about all of this,
- 00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:30,007 but you feel a million miles away.
- 00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,010 You're here, but you're not here.
- 00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:37,348 And I miss you, Carolyn. I miss the person I fell in love with.
- 00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:39,226 John, I'm right here.
- 00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:43,647 I am the person you fell in love with.
- 00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:47,858 But you don't want this version of me.
- 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,736 You want… You want the cold, unattainable,
- 00:33:50,737 --> 00:33:53,865 shiny version, the-the version of me that's like a trophy.
- 00:33:54,491 --> 00:33:56,867 I mean, the moment I started being vulnerable with you, you--
- 00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:58,703 You think you're vulnerable with me?
- 00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:04,291 To be vulnerable, you'd actually have to want something and need something.
- 00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:07,753 The only thing you seem to want to do is tell me again and again and again
- 00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,129 how much you hate our life.
- 00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:11,423 I knew it. I knew it. I should never have let my guard down.
- 00:34:11,424 --> 00:34:14,052 [stutters] I broke my own rule. I'm so dumb.
- 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:18,180 - I've just been bracing myself. - For what?
- 00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:19,723 [Carolyn] I'm always bracing myself, John.
- 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,851 I have spent my entire life just bracing myself
- 00:34:22,852 --> 00:34:25,896 for these terrible things to happen to me and deal with them alone.
- 00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:27,857 And this is no different from any of that.
- 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:30,734 You knew who I was before you married me.
- 00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:33,905 [Carolyn] God, I wish people would stop telling me that.
- 00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,491 No one knows who they're marrying.
- 00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:39,035 Apparently not.
- 00:34:44,541 --> 00:34:46,626 People are supposed to change, John.
- 00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:49,379 - I didn't. - [scoffs]
- 00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:53,758 You say that like it's a virtue, like it's… like it's somehow commendable.
- 00:34:55,552 --> 00:34:57,386 You haven't made any space for me in your life.
- 00:34:57,387 --> 00:34:59,847 Tell me one thing that you have changed in your life
- 00:34:59,848 --> 00:35:01,557 since we've been married.
- 00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:04,018 You live in the same loft, you have the same job, the same friends,
- 00:35:04,019 --> 00:35:06,520 you spend the same weekends at Red Gate or Hyannis,
- 00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:08,231 the same schedule.
- 00:35:09,899 --> 00:35:13,485 Everything in my life has changed. Do you understand that?
- 00:35:13,486 --> 00:35:15,280 That's your choice.
- 00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:17,990 You act like every misfortune in your life
- 00:35:17,991 --> 00:35:20,200 is the result of some ultimatum I've given you,
- 00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:23,245 like you have zero agency in this relationship.
- 00:35:23,246 --> 00:35:26,498 I didn't make you quit your job. I didn't make you marry me.
- 00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:30,044 I didn't tell you to let the tabloids ruin your life. But you know what?
- 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:32,421 I think there's a part of you that enjoys this shit with the press.
- 00:35:32,422 --> 00:35:35,174 - Excuse me? - [John] Yeah, so you can lord it over me.
- 00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:37,509 Punish me with it, fault me endlessly
- 00:35:37,510 --> 00:35:40,512 for not controlling things outside of my control.
- 00:35:40,513 --> 00:35:41,597 You relish it.
- 00:35:41,598 --> 00:35:44,433 It's like you have no identity outside of your own victimhood.
- 00:35:44,434 --> 00:35:48,437 Thank you. Thank you. You love how hated I am.
- 00:35:48,438 --> 00:35:50,230 Of course you do, because you're America's son,
- 00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:53,735 and I am just another tragedy you bravely endure.
- 00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:06,665 Well. Yeah, I think I may have hit my limit.
- 00:36:11,336 --> 00:36:13,004 What are you talking about?
- 00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:21,220 [Carolyn] John, what are you talking about?
- 00:36:21,221 --> 00:36:25,057 Maybe I've endured enough tragedy for one lifetime.
- 00:36:25,058 --> 00:36:26,851 Fuck. [groans]
- 00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:28,853 [groans]
- 00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:35,902 John, come back.
- 00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:39,114 John!
- 00:36:40,824 --> 00:36:43,451 John, what are you doing? [panting]
- 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:46,621 What…
- 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:48,373 I can't keep doing this.
- 00:36:49,332 --> 00:36:51,625 [panting]
- 00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:53,211 What are you talking about?
- 00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:55,963 Doing what? What are you… What are you talking about?
- 00:36:55,964 --> 00:36:58,549 Everything and everyone I touch falls apart,
- 00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:00,259 and now this is falling apart too.
- 00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:04,555 And I just think that if I stay, I'm gonna do or say something that I'll regret.
- 00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,808 L-Like what? Like what, John?
- 00:37:07,517 --> 00:37:09,518 [John] I'll be at the Stanhope. Just a day or two.
- 00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:12,230 [Carolyn] No, J-John, just say what you were gonna say.
- 00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,732 There is nothing you can say to me
- 00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:17,444 that would hurt me more than you walking out that door.
- 00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:20,654 Do you know what it's like to see it in your eyes
- 00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:22,448 that I'm failing at this marriage?
- 00:37:22,449 --> 00:37:25,577 Like I failed as a lawyer and now I'm failing as a magazine editor.
- 00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:29,747 I couldn't help my mom. And I can't help Anthony.
- 00:37:29,748 --> 00:37:32,166 And I don't think I can handle another failure right now.
- 00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:33,168 [Carolyn] No, John.
- 00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:39,382 When I told you everything ends, you said not us.
- 00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:44,052 What happened to not us, John?
- 00:37:44,053 --> 00:37:46,805 What happened to not us? What happened to not us?
- 00:37:46,806 --> 00:37:48,850 What happened to not us?
- 00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:53,062 [sobs] What happened to not us?
- 00:37:53,772 --> 00:37:56,482 When I told you everything ends, you said not us.
- 00:37:56,483 --> 00:37:58,526 What happened to not us?
- 00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:00,862 [Carolyn sobs]
- 00:38:04,908 --> 00:38:06,200 This isn't ending.
- 00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:07,577 Yes, it is.
- 00:38:09,829 --> 00:38:11,121 You're running away.
- 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:13,123 I don't want to keep hurting you, Carolyn.
- 00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:15,000 - [Carolyn sobbing] - I wanna be with you.
- 00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:16,543 Then be with me.
- 00:38:16,544 --> 00:38:18,171 I don't wanna fight.
- 00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:22,258 You have to.
- 00:38:23,343 --> 00:38:26,386 [pants] That's what people do. They fight. They stay, they fight.
- 00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:28,889 If we keep fighting, we're gonna lose each other.
- 00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:31,643 [Carolyn pants] Please don't leave me.
- 00:38:32,769 --> 00:38:34,187 Please.
- 00:38:42,779 --> 00:38:44,948 Please don't prove my mother right.
- 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,333 I'm coming back, I promise.
- 00:38:56,543 --> 00:38:58,127 [sobbing]
- 00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,593 [John] I love you.
- 00:39:35,415 --> 00:39:37,917 [crying]
- 00:39:41,963 --> 00:39:42,964 [elevator dings]
- 00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,134 [elevator whooshes]
- 00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:52,223 [sobbing]